When I chair meetings, I like to begin with a code of values. I can think of so many times in the past where I got these things wrong, and as a result made bad decisions. However, from that learning I have drawn together five principles that underline the way I like to work. They are captured by the acronym ROCCK, pronounced “rock”. N.B. I am planning to write this up in a formal way, but here is a brief summary of my ROCCK approach to meetings.
It is important to treat everyone in the room with respect, and to acknowledge that we all come from different backgrounds and bring different lived experience and/or professional experience to the table. Even in the context of holding an organisation to account, it is important to avoid an “us and them” approach. Rather it is important to create a sense of mutuality, and to acknowledge and appreciate the different perspectives in the room.
There is nothing to be gained from a lack of transparency, or from a sense of needing to hide things in a meeting (or in any other setting). However we are only able to bring our whole self to the room and to share openly if we feel safe to do so, and if we feel we will be treated with respect for doing so. Everyone in the room should be open: no hidden agendas, no attempts to hide mistakes.
Curiosity is a powerful tool, and rather than sitting with our own assumptions it is helpful to be curious about everything that happens in the room. Even if the content of a presentation seems familiar, we have an opportunity to be curious and interested and to notice new things in the material. If someone introduces something new that challenges us, curiousity is a powerful tool to help us overcome that challenge. It helps us learn more rather than shutting down or rejecting an idea. This encourages openness and allows us to be more accepting and inclusive of other perspectives.
Compassion is a hugely important value, and one that we should learn to apply to ourselves and others. Sometimes we might entirely disagree with someone, sometimes there may have a been critical failure in an organisation, and some times people may have experienced challenging situations. In these contexts and many more, being curious about the reality of others’ lived experience and meeting it with compassion rather than negativity will result in a more productive meeting, and a safer space.
Knowledge is something we all have. We are lived experience experts and we should seek to share our knowkedge and learn from others in room. Acknowledging different perspectives and meeting them with compassion rather than conflict strengthens the combined knowledge and learning of the group.
I find the over arching image and metaphor of a rock is also helpful. For example, in stakeholder meetings the rock represents: a strong base from which to support, challenge and build for the future.
